Where Innocence Once Grew

Do you know of the place where innocence grows

Can I go back to the before 

So that my first time can actually be my first time

And not the time after the time we don’t speak about 

A week without the pit in my stomach that grows darker every time I pass a man with blue eyes

The soil beneath me is rotten

There is no growth happening here

I am trying to make a way out of a path I’ve never traveled

So that the feet that follow behind me have a chance to make it

When given the chance take it

Or else it’ll take you

Your dress will become the yes you never gave permission to

The reason you refuse to pour into me should be the reason you quench my thirst

I am empty 

Drained by the vultures who prey on unopened boxes

The jewels that made me sparkle were gone before I even knew they could shine

I am empty

Do you know the place where innocence grows

Can I go back to the before

Where Innocence Once Grew © 2021 Candice Leigh

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seven.

on monday, i retraced the steps that led you to me, and daydreamed into the night

on tuesday, the sun rose and set, all without the slightest movement from the sky

on wednesday, i found and dusted off old pictures of myself when i was young

on thursday, my depression dressed up and convinced me that when it came to friends, i had none

on friday, you held me tightly in your arms, forcing my anxiety into submission

on saturday, I stared in awe of what you are, so rare, a very limited edition

and on sunday, we sat in silence, and comforted each other’s tears, tears that fell for no other reason but to empty and make room for all that came packaged with the next seven days…