
As if i’m supposed to feel guilty for my smile
As if in order to feed good-i must feel bad first
i’ve been wearing masks long before the pandemic started
i have them in different designs and a few different colors
the lipstick shade of brown and red mixed together works
really well for avoiding the are you ok questions
and if i follow the curve of my lip well enough
i forget which mask im wearing
my eyes serve as walls that barricade tears
and i tend to avoid eye contact with anyone
for meeting in the middle leaves me powerless
and just like now i wear my mask to protect not only myself
but i wear them to protect you too
who knows how my words would you hostage if i let them flow freely
and on the rare days i feel safe enough to leave my mask behind
don’t worry i make sure to stay 6 feet away
far enough that the scent of depression doesn’t make anyone curious
and if by chance i cry without my mask on
i’ll be sure to bury my head into my hands
i’ll quarantine for as long as i need to
and i’ll emerge when i feel better
and maybe by that time, masks will no longer…
who I am kidding..
and all this time the smoke screen i stood behind
you never knew existed
you held me in your arms and the smile i wore drifted
and for the first time ever, the oceans that lived in my eyes pushed out streams that flowed down my cheeks
my knees grew weak
love dressed up as a spell
and suddenly i am compelled to be nothing other than me
i am not who you think i am
is this face still worthy of you
unmasked and riddled with imperfection
and on some days, depression
now that you see me
do you see me
And when my fire fades you are there to replenish
A never ending flame
A repeating cycle of love fueled with passion
The things you hate about yourself I love
The spaces my soul leave empty you fill
For what we were doesn’t compare to what we are
And there is nothing that can compete to what we will become
Your words heal scars that before you bled endlessly
My words bring new definitions to pain you thought you understood
Forever learning that loves teacher lived in us all along
However lessons were never learned until we met